Ķīmiskais elements – Sieviete

Ražotājs – Dievs. Atklājējs – Ādams. Masa – vidēji 53,6 kg, variē robežās no 40 līdz 200 kg. Sastopamība – vērā ņemamā (daudzumā apdzīvotās vietās).
Fizikālās īpašības


• Virsma parasti klāta ar plānu krāsainu slāni.
• Vārās pati no sevis, sasalst bez redzama iemesla.
• Kūst, ja ar to pareizi apietas.
• Kodīga, ja nepareizi lieto.

Simbols – @&. Ražotājs – Dievs. Atklājējs – Ādams. Masa – vidēji 53,6 kg, variē robežās no 40 līdz 200 kg. Sastopamība – vērā ņemamā (daudzumā apdzīvotās vietās).
Fizikālās īpašības


• Virsma parasti klāta ar plānu krāsainu slāni.
• Vārās pati no sevis, sasalst bez redzama iemesla.
• Kūst, ja ar to pareizi apietas.
• Kodīga, ja nepareizi lieto.
• Sastopama dažādās formās, sākot ar izciliem tīrradņiem un beidzot ar neapstrādātu rūdu.
• Viegli padodas, ja izdara spiedienu pareizās vietās.
Ķīmiskās īpašības
• Liela tieksme savienoties ar zeltu, sudrabu un atsevišķiem dārgakmeņiem.
• Spēj absorbēt lielu daudzumu dārgu substanču.
• Var spontāni eksplodēt bez brīdinājuma un redzama iemesla.
• Šķidrumos nešķīst, taču, piesātinot ar alkoholu, ievērojami pazeminās pretestība.
• Pats spēcīgākais zinātnei zināmais naudas reducētājs.
Vispārīgs izmantojums
• Izteikti ornamentāls, īpaši sporta mašīnās.
• Labs relaksācijas līdzeklis, kas pārspēj citus zināmos.
• Ļoti efektīvs tīrīšanas līdzeklis.
• Izcilākie paraugi arī labi izmantojami ēdienu gatavošanai.
Testēšana
• Ja tos uziet dabiskā stāvoklī, tīrākie paraugi iegūst rozā nokrāsu.
• Kļūst zaļi, ja novieto blakus kvalitatīvākam paraugam.
Drošības noteikumi
• Bīstama, ja nonāk nepieredzējušās rokās.
• Arī pieredzējušam personālam jāievēro maksimāla rūpība un piesardzība.
• Nav atļauts turēt īpašumā vairāk par vienu, lai gan atsevišķus eksemplārus var uzglabāt attālās vietās, ja vien tie nenonāk kontaktā cits ar citu.


padalījās – Ainars Betlers


13.04.2008

Komentāri:

 PM-> Līgai,   15:15:54 22.04.2008
85.254.212.21

Un vēl ir pieejams šāds variants
----
MEN - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS

ELEMENT: MAN
SYMBOL: Ego
DISCOVERER: Eve. Discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs.
ATOMIC MASS: Accepted as 170 lbs, known to vary from 98 to 360 lbs.
OCCURRENCE: Large quantities in all populated areas. Highly concentrated deposits at all sporting events and areas known as 'singles bars'. Extremely low quantities can be found in any location where cleaning up is required. (See Women and Slave Labor)

PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Surface often covered with hair--bristly in some areas, soft in others.
2. Boils when inconvenienced, freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense.
3. Melts if treated like a God.
4. Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
5. Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive to extremely thick.
6. Becomes stubborn and unyielding when pressure is applied; yields only when subtlety, subterfuge, flattery are applied.

CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:

1. Is repelled by concentrated quantities of precious and semi-precious metals and stones (See Jewelery Store). However, is attracted to small quantities of these when viewed worn against the skin of a woman. It is believed woman's skin combines with the aforementioned to create a highly magnetic attraction for this element.
2. May explode spontaneously if wallet is opened.
3. Requires copious quantities of substances known as attention, reassurance, and stroking.
4. When saturated with Alcohol will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.
5. Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
6. Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.
7. Is rendered non-functional when confronted with the items in #5 & #6.
8. Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.
9. Is impervious to embarrassment.
10. Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to woman.

 PM->Līgai,   15:13:12 22.04.2008
85.254.212.21

Diemžēl latviski neatradu, ja nu kāds vēlas, var pārtulkot.

Element: Man

Symbol: Ah
(short for a**h***, a common French root used to identify the element)
Discoverer: Eve

Quantitative Analysis:
Accepted at 7 inches, wavy brown hair, 182cm in length, though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches yet weigh 200+ Kg.
Occurrence:
Found following dual element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo specimen. (Experimental evidence: any beach on any coast)
Physical properties:
Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore ... zzzzz) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature. Rarely found in pure form after 14th year. Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo commom ore.
Chemical properties:
All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible. May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely favorable conditions. Usually willing to react with what ever is available. Reaction Rates range from aborted/non- existant to Pre-interaction effects (which tend to turn the specimen bright red and send it to react with Sa, the sex analyist) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
Storage:
Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate, 25-35 for favorable reaction style.
Uses:
Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
Tests:
Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.
Caution:
Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very maleable under correct conditions.

 Līga,   08:08:44 14.04.2008
81.198.170.110

:))))))) Interesants pētījums! Ainār, uzraksti arī par vīriešiem! :)))